I am NOT a "nice guy", but I have been told my many that I am the kindest person they know. I have given up many friends because I'll say the words that may hurt, but save them from often outright injury. I lost a friend in the SCA because he would NOT wear the proper protective gear that then exposed the nerves under his armpit to potentially permanent injury during fencing. And he also was very bad about protecting that area.
Every practice I'd hit him once there, he'd yowl, I'd say he needs to fix his fencing jacket, he'd complain it was enough. I'd carefully avoid hitting him there the rest of the day. Which was me enabling his bad behavior.
Then one day I just played it dumb. I kept hitting him there, very lightly but hard enough to sting. He complained nonstop.
Then one day I just played it dumb. I kept hitting him there, very lightly but hard enough to sting. He complained nonstop.
He stopped talking to me for 2 years.
After 2 years, he sought me out to say that after that, he'd finally extended his fencing jacket to cover his armpits right after that, and then just 2 days ago another fencer really rammed the blade into that armpit, and he was sore for days and wanted to say he forgave me for "accidentally" causing him to fix his problem because he felt that he'd just avoided permanent injury.
So I told him, I did it on purpose to save him from injury. He suddenly became enraged and took back his apology and said we're back to not being friends. I said if that's how he feels, that's fine, I'd do it again to save a friend or anyone else from injury.
That's my life. My wife Robyn often runs into the same types of situations.
